Title: A Good Old Rant.
DK - March 20, 2006 09:40 PM (GMT)
Does anyone remember my old Burger King rant from XGTA? Well, after reading it again, I thought it was so good I decided I should post it here. :)
| QUOTE (Me @ originally posted April 17th, 2005) |
Today I had Burger king for lunch. Yes, greasy fattening BK. Anyways, my meal was going well until I started reading the labels BK stamped on their boxes, bags and containers of the food. What I discovered is that BK, is, simply put, fucking homo.
Here's what the bag the food was in said:
"Getting hot fresh food is exciting. But for some people it can be too much to handle, leading to heavy breathing, lightheadedness, and in a few cases, fainting."
Wow. :o I was interested in reading more so I continued:
"If you feel you're getting much too excited here's what you do: quickly remove the contens in this bag. Hold it up to your mouth and slowly breathe in and out. Once you've calmed down, put down the bag, finish your meal and try concentrating on other things like slow-flowing streams and sleeping kittens."
Holy shit. I don't know what crackhead came up with that, but it gave me a really good laugh. I laughed so hard I almost had to use the bag. (Kidding)
Moving on the Fry box. Here's what it said:
"Occasionly, you'll get an onion ring that doesn't play by the rules."
Wait...what?
"An outsider. A lone loop in a sea of spuds. A ringer. but don't be alarmed. This is a good thing."
It is? What the fuck? That was the most random thing to ever be placed on a box.
"It's an extra treat. Though ringers may not appear often, if they did, would they really be so special?"
If you got off the crack, would you be still be special? I think so.
Here's the drink's words:
"Maybe you want a lot of ice. Maybe you want no ice. Maybe you want your top securely fastened, or maybe you want to go topless. Hmmm?"
Whoa! Maybe you want to go topless? And that Hmmm? sounded really queer-like.
"Maybe you want to mix coke with sprite. Whatever you do, make sure you do things your way."
I will. Because if I did them your way, BK, I'd end up a fat fucking fairy cutting hair for a living.
Lastly, the chicken tenders box:
"A lot of people ask us what makes our Chicken Tenders well, so tender."
That was a gay statement. :o
"And while we'd love to say it's because we play 80's power ballads for them all day long, it just wouldn't be true."
Ya know what else wouldn't be true? Saying you're straight.
"But you've got to admit, it would be pretty funny if it were."
I was laughing my ass off at about that time. BK has come out of the closet folks. Maybe next we'll hear that Mcy Dees is gay with BK. Who knows. |
By the way, they still have these captions on their food. :rofl:
This needs to be sent to them with like 5,000 signatures saying they need to ditch the captions.
Mini-Me - March 20, 2006 09:43 PM (GMT)
Eh...I like a laugh from my food.
Kingturtle2007 - March 20, 2006 10:46 PM (GMT)
Hmm, I checked on them last time I ate there, and I didn't see them, I wonder why. :ph43r: :ph43r:
Jedihunter - March 20, 2006 10:46 PM (GMT)
All I remember of that thread, was Wyte Pac saying he started crying over some Star Wars III thing there :funny: :rofl: :funny: .
Kingturtle2007 - March 20, 2006 10:49 PM (GMT)
LOL hahaha, Oh yeah I remember that and then he went to the car and he went to sleep. :ph43r: :ph43r:
GG - March 21, 2006 10:55 PM (GMT)
Good stuff, DK. You obviously dont know that Burger King strives to be the best fast food restuarant ever. They try to make you becomed sexually attracted to their food and want more.
You have to give them credit for their chicken stripes.
I always want to eat them in little bites so I can savor the orgasmic taste.
'
Kno' what i mean, playa?
:funny: Yeah Burger King is gay.
KITT - March 21, 2006 11:05 PM (GMT)
Thier Hamburgers are the best. Their Chicken Products and French Fries suck.
Jedihunter - March 21, 2006 11:09 PM (GMT)
Burger King kicks ass.
WTF? Their French Fries are totaly the best...
Ya'll are haters.
McDonalds is proven to cause cancer.
Wendys is basicly the Thrift Store of Fast food.
Dairy Queen... sucks at everything other than Ice cream (Duh).
What other bitches are there?
The only thing that can top BK is some local joints, and those are rare.
KITT - March 21, 2006 11:12 PM (GMT)
If you were to put Mcdonalds French Fries and a Double Whopper from Burger King together in a meal. It'll be totally Orgasmic.
Jedihunter - March 22, 2006 01:01 AM (GMT)
For some reason, McDonalds fries make me more full faster.
Which keeps me from enjoying it longer!
It would be a good thing but it fills me up way to fast.
KITT - March 22, 2006 01:11 AM (GMT)
On Saturday I ate A Big Mac, a Double CheeseBurger, Large Fries, and Large Coke. It was alright. Except the part where I got depressed because all the food was gone.
Jedihunter - March 22, 2006 02:23 AM (GMT)
I always do that when were out of Soda and the one I bought is gone <_< .
KITT - March 22, 2006 02:28 AM (GMT)
Thats the thing about great tasting food. When its gone, life has no joy in it anymore.
Sweet - March 24, 2006 09:20 AM (GMT)
Mah there is no BK here but there is a place similar i guess it is owned by BK it's called hungry jacks
Jedihunter - March 24, 2006 05:34 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Sweet @ Mar 24 2006, 03:20 AM) |
| Mah there is no BK here but there is a place similar i guess it is owned by BK it's called hungry jacks |
That is a Burger King, BK couldnt get their name copyrighted ( someone already took it ), so they named it Hungry Jacks.
skunkoncrunk - March 24, 2006 08:26 PM (GMT)
I remember that rant. It's pretty classic.
Jedihunter - March 24, 2006 09:40 PM (GMT)
Still, Burger King, Coca-Cola, Target, Hersheys, Krispy Kremes, Air Force and Valentinos Pizza pwn.
DK - March 24, 2006 09:44 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Jedihunter) |
| Still, Burger King, Coca-Cola, Target, Hersheys, Krispy Kremes, Air Force and Valentinos Pizza pwn. |
Yeah, this wasn't an attack on their food, (which is good), it's just those homosexual captions on their containers.
KITT - March 24, 2006 09:58 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Desert King) |
| QUOTE (Jedihunter) | | Still, Burger King, Coca-Cola, Target, Hersheys, Krispy Kremes, Air Force and Valentinos Pizza pwn. |
Yeah, this wasn't an attack on their food, (which is good), it's just those homosexual captions on their containers.
|
Homosexual... That does strike something.
Has anyone ever seent hat BK breakfast sandwich commercial? The one with the guy sleeping and he wakes up with that King mascot in his bed. Then at the end after they expalin the sandwich, the guy and the king were laughing then the king puts his hand on the guy's lap and they just pause. And the friggen catch phrase was "Wake Up with the King."
Wow, they really are homo.
Jedihunter - March 24, 2006 10:04 PM (GMT)
Never noticed that before :mellow: .
Kingturtle2007 - March 25, 2006 01:25 AM (GMT)
Yeah and the other commercial where the guy and the girl were riding on that bik with 2 seats, and they go under the tunnel and when he comes out, the king was there instead of the girl. :ph43r: :ph43r:
DK - March 25, 2006 07:50 PM (GMT)
Yes, Burger King needs to be ranamed Faggot King.
Today my sister got some food from BK, and on the Chicken Tenders wrapper it said "Eat the contents of this wrapper as quickly as you can using only your pinky and your thumb. Then challenge your friends to pinky wrestling. You'll win."
WTF? Who does pinky wrestling? I don't wanna know.
Jedihunter - March 25, 2006 09:31 PM (GMT)
Wouldnt know, their Chicken tenders suck ass.
Not quite as much as McDonalds chicken though, Wendys has the best Chicken... its just... heavenly.
KITT - March 25, 2006 09:37 PM (GMT)
Sorry guys but for some reason McD's Nuggets are not bad. But for the freshest nuggets Wendy's takes the cake. :thumbs up:
Kingturtle2007 - March 26, 2006 12:55 AM (GMT)
When it comes to the best fast food, Wendy's = FTW :ph43r: :ph43r:
Gaylord Perry - March 26, 2006 02:43 AM (GMT)
I saw those things that were written on the bags fries or hamburgers, to me it's not a big deal. I just pack myself up with the food and keep on rolling. Don't mind the captions at all.
Jedihunter - March 26, 2006 04:54 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (deejeygtamaster @ Mar 25 2006, 08:43 PM) |
| I saw those things that were written on the bags fries or hamburgers, to me it's not a big deal. I just pack myself up with the food and keep on rolling. Don't mind the captions at all. |
My point exactly.
Its your waste of time to read them anyways.
Sweet - March 26, 2006 12:24 PM (GMT)
what about KFC? they do fuck your orders up somtimes though
Rocky rocks! - March 26, 2006 01:22 PM (GMT)
Don't know, it has been a long time since I eat fast food.
But KFC never fuck up my orders though. :)
KITT - March 26, 2006 06:16 PM (GMT)
KFC doesnt fuck up my orders. They fuck up my system. I have never felt so fucked up from fast food like how KFC fucks me up.
Kingturtle2007 - March 26, 2006 06:56 PM (GMT)
I don't like KFC, I prefer Popeye's chicken over them. :ph43r: :ph43r:
Gaylord Perry - March 26, 2006 09:09 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Sweet @ Mar 26 2006, 12:24 PM) |
| what about KFC? they do fuck your orders up somtimes though |
This isn't about orders "being fucked up", it's about captions on the food that you order.
DK - March 26, 2006 09:25 PM (GMT)
Burger King also likes to fuck up your orders, often. It's mainly because they employ a bunch of Mexicans that don't even know how to speak English. Like one time the guy kept giving the wrong change, and I'm like wtf are you doing? He never did get it right. <_<
If you're going to employ someone, make sure they know English first.
Kingturtle2007 - March 26, 2006 09:54 PM (GMT)
Getting the right change doesn't have to do anything with english, if "math" that's what you mean. :ph43r: :ph43r:
DK - March 26, 2006 09:55 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Kingturtle2006) |
| Getting the right change doesn't have to do anything with english, if "math" that's what you mean. :ph43r: :ph43r: |
Well they always have trouble understanding your order.
Math and English, they suck at both.
Gaylord Perry - March 26, 2006 09:56 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Desert King @ Mar 26 2006, 09:25 PM) |
Burger King also likes to fuck up your orders, often. It's mainly because they employ a bunch of Mexicans that don't even know how to speak English. Like one time the guy kept giving the wrong change, and I'm like wtf are you doing? He never did get it right. <_<
If you're going to employ someone, make sure they know English first. |
Hehehe what a racist.
Kingturtle2007 - March 26, 2006 09:57 PM (GMT)
He's not being racist, he's just telling the truth about the employees in the Burger King chain he goes to.
:ph43r: :ph43r:
Gaylord Perry - March 26, 2006 09:58 PM (GMT)
Yeah but he reffered rudely to the employees as mexicans.
Kingturtle2007 - March 26, 2006 09:59 PM (GMT)
Well what he should call them? Mexicans is the right term to call them. He didn't use a racist slang word. :ph43r: :ph43r:
Gaylord Perry - March 26, 2006 09:59 PM (GMT)
He should have called them spics :funny: